Falling apart

"If you want to know the true level of your integrity, measure it at a time when things are not going well. What you are really like can only be measured when your life is falling apart." Dr Tony Evans

What is the first thing I do when life falls apart?

Do I run to the feet of Jesus and ask for His help?

Do I open my Bible and search for His Words?

No.

None of those are the first things I do when I feel like my life is falling apart, but they should be. Instead they are second and third down my list.

So when I read my fb memories today and saw the quote I shared from Dr Tony Evans at the beginning of this post I had to stop and think.

Today my heart has broken over and over again for so many different reasons.
Tonight my plan is to dive into the Word of God because Jesus is who I need.

Jesus is who I need.
I need to leave every thing at the feet of Jesus.
I need to be in His Words learning all I can
I need to fall more and more in Love With Him.

I have "been stuck" on a song(so a friend says lol) for weeks now and when that friend asked me why I asked "what does it say to you?" 

If the first name I call is Jesus when my world falls apart then I can honestly say from the depths of my soul that "For me to Live is Christ and to Die is Gain". I am striving to live every day for Christ because that is how much I am in love, do love Him. He gave His all for me. His Grace is sufficient for me. 

That is why my heart breaks when I watch the world as it falls apart. When my friends, families, coworkers lives are falling apart and they lash out in hatred and anger and hurt my heart breaks because they either don't have or have chosen not to have a personal love relationship with Jesus. 

I don't take incidents to Jesus first all the time like I should. I am still a work in progress. Under the hammer on the anvil of life striving to be more like Christ. 

" You can't use someone else's irresponsibility in the past as an excuse for your irresponsibility in the present. You can, and should, do better." Dr Tony Evans

I have been studying Proverbs in Bible study and God is teaching me when to speak and when to stay silent. It isn't easy and when someone mistreats me it is even harder to stay silent. 

So to the person I might have offended, angered, hurt, was silent too, mistreated.....I am sorry.
Jesus and I have been talking and my heart has been breaking. You needed the apology. I needed to apologize. I can and should do better. My integrity has not been up to par either in good times or bad. I haven't been calling out to Jesus first. I am however striving to be more Christ like. 

Philippians 1:20-24 NLT

20"For I fully expect and hope that I will never be ashamed, but that I will continue to be bold for Christ, as I have been in the past. And I trust that my life will bring honor to Christ, whether I live or die. 21For to me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better. 22But if I live, I can do more fruitful work for Christ. So I really don’t know which is better. 23I’m torn between two desires: I long to go and be with Christ, which would be far better for me. 24But for your sakes, it is better that I continue to live."



The apostle Paul wrote this to a Church but it so applies today to me not just then to them. I am seeking God because I want to be more like Him and I want my integrity to be His and I don't want to be irresponsible with the time He has given me on this earth. I want every one to know and understand what it truly means to be a forgiven Daughter, set free from the chains of sin and death, of the One True King.

Jesus is my drive and passion for life.


Jesus is the smile on my face even on my bad days.


Jesus is my all in all.


Jesus is my Abba Father.


Jesus is my forever.



"Let it be Jesus

The first name that I call

Let it be Jesus

My song inside the storm

I’ll never need another...



For me to live is Christ

For me to live is Christ

God, I breathe Your name

Above everything

Let it be, let it be Jesus



Let it be Jesus

From the rising of the sun

And let it be Jesus

When all is said and done

I’ll never need another

Jesus, there’s no other...


For me to live is Christ

For me to live is Christ

God, I breathe Your name

Above everything


Let it be, let it be Jesus


Let it be, let it be Jesus



Should I ever be abandoned

Should I ever be acclaimed

Should I ever be surrounded

By the fire and the flame

There’s name I will remember

There’s a name I will proclaim


Let it be, let it be Jesus

Let it be, let it be Jesus

Let it be, let it be..."



For me to live is Christ

For me to live is Christ

God, I breathe Your name

Above everything




Let it be, let it be Jesus


Let it be, let it be Jesus


"Let it be Jesus by Christy Nochels"





For me (Elizabeth) to live is Christ.






I don't need anyone else but Christ.






And Christ has so richly blessed me with great and encouraging family and friends.

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